Trusting in God

Trusting in God sounds almost cliche, But to really truly trust, fall back into His arms and let Him guide your life is really not that easy.  I'm one of those people... maybe slightly controlling, just a touch.  So if I want something my attitude is, I go out and get it, or make it happen.  I'm pretty tenacious when I don't let my fears get in the way.  So trusting in God and letting go......just letting Him have the plan, and me not know where its going,  taking it one step at a time, is VERY challenging for me.  


Psalms 119:105  says "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."  A lantern or a lamp would light up only one, maybe a couple of steps that we could take if we were in the darkness of night (maybe not knowing God's plan).  But God says His word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path, not a spotlight to my destination.  I'm always so busy trying to figure out where the destination is and how to plow my way to get to it that I miss everything God wants to do. And I think many times I've missed out on His plan. And if I were to just get to the destination, I wouldn't have developed the patience, humility, skills and character that you get from the journey which is needed to be able to stay rooted in His bigger plans.


But its amazing when I just let go, and let God. He always does exceedingly and abundantly more than I could hope or imagine. It blows me away. This Easter was a testament to that for me. And I didn't even have to stress about it. He just paved a way.... Usually though, He does require me to be making steps moving on what His word washes over my heart. In this case it was serving at my church on Easter for every service. The things He did to bless my time, serving still have me in awe.  But He requires I keep my eyes focused on Him and even though I have so many faults, He still uses me and lights my way. And maybe one day I might know where He is lighting the way to, but I suspect, I will always be growing and learning and accomplishing things only by His grace and mercy to bring Him the Glory. And I hope I will always be standing in awe at what God was able to do with this broken, cracked pot, for His Glory, so I will never think it was by something I did.

Good Friday

Just had an epiphany tonight about Good Friday!  I went to my awesome church and they had a really special genuine night of prayer, where you can come and go as you please. But they had these cool self guided stations to help you really focus on why Good Friday is a special day of remembering, then a really intimate acoustic worship set that had such a somber special feel to it. The whole night wasn't about hype, or over dramatization, it was quiet and sobering and had me getting down to what Good Friday is all about. Which even though I've always lived in a Christian home and been a Christian for many years, this reality has somehow escaped me. But this Good Friday, I finally got it!  What everyday should be all about.  Good Friday is not just some random holiday! We celebrate Easter and Christmas which are great celebrations!! But we kind of just skip right over Good Friday. 

But before I go on, I wanted to give a little history, 1st to Passover which was and is still in Jewish culture a time of celebration of how the Angel of Death "passed over" the Israelites' homes sparing their 1st born children if they put the blood of an unblemished Lamb over their door. Next I wanted give some history to the day Jesus  actually died. I did some research, and  found that Jesus was killed on "The Day of Preparation" of the Passover Lamb. Which is the day they kill the lamb for the Passover meal and prepared it, the lamb is eaten the next day during the 8 day time of the Passover Festival. At least thats what was customary during Jesus' time.   So Jesus actually celebrated the "Last Supper" early. And He died on the "Day of Preparation" when the lambs of passover were slain. He died a horrendously painful, and humiliating death, on a cross.  And He did this with no ceremony, and no honor was given Him that day. The Lamb of God, pure and Holy, was sacrificed so that our sins will forever be passed over. He died so that we could live and have a relationship with God, and so that we can spend eternity with Him in Heaven. If we except His precious gift of salvation. 

 The truth is, Good Friday is the day we stop and think, and thank Jesus for giving the most amazing gift anyone could give to another, His life, for ours. How my Savior was killed and sacrificed, so that I could have eternal life and a relationship with God!!!! ....And yet He did it with pure undefiled love, to give anyone the opportunity to have a relationship with God and to be made whole, not just for "religion".

If I were not to share my thoughts, it would be a crime of complete selfishness, whether you believe or not, I'm sharing it out of love not religiosity, I KNOW its true and believe whole heartedly, so to keep it to myself, would be plain wrong. I'm not a theologian but if you ever had questions about this, I would be so happy to answer them, or do my best to find out the answer if I don't know it :) Happy Easter Weekend!! The victory is He rose again!!

Warmth of Music part 1

I have more to say but just wanted to share this quick thought after, a bit of a disappointing day. I LOVE how music can touch the untouchable recesses of the heart, that I don't even realize need God's encouragement or light shined there. Its like a wonderful embrace of warmth and serenity to my feelings, followed by joy and peace to all my restlessness :)

Silly post

  

The "magic" of Christmas

    I can't believe its two days until Christmas.  I look forward to this time of year every year and when it finally gets here, it feels so frantic I never enjoy any of the "magic" of Christmas. When I was growing up, it was such a special time of year.  We watched Christmas movies, cranked down the air (we live in south florida) and drank hot chocolate.  We went around looking at everyones Christmas lights and made Christmas cookies, with egg-nogg. And left cookies out for Santa. So special...
    But since I've become an adult, a wife, and now a mother. It feels impossibly overwhelming. All the parties every weekend of the month.  Heck, just buying for my family is overwhelming. My husband has a married sister with 1 baby, and a married brother with 5 children. Then his parents are divorced so, that is buying for 2 completely different families who basically buy themselves anything they actually want. Then there is my family; my parents, and my little brother. And Finally my husband who is impossible to shop for because he works so much he doesn't have time to do anything else and he doesn't really like presents. And then there is my precious 2 year old Daughter.....I can get into trouble with her.....because I just want to give her the whole world lol.
     I sound a bit depressed I suppose. But it is frustrating. I feel like the real meaning of Christmas gets suffocated right out. By trying to make people happy! Do what is "appropriate" like  Christmas cards and thank you cards for example (those are my personal archenemies)! ...Trying not to look cheap and trying to show love for people through gifts. I try maybe a little harder than most to show it through giving really thoughtful gifts, since I'm a little awkward and not very good at expressing my feelings :/
     But I lose focus on the real reason we exchange gifts. It was because of God's sacrifice of sending His precious only Son. That alone was a miracle....Mary....the shepherds....the wise men...ancient prophecies coming to life. God sent Him as a baby, to live as we live and show us who God is and how He wants us to live our lives. Our example of the only perfection on earth. And Christmas is also supposed to be about showing our appreciation for Christ's ultimate sacrifice of dying a humiliating, painful death to give us the gift of Eternal Life!
     Christmas may not be about the "magic" of Christmas, but in a way I think it is. Because in the midst of a close family and special times together, I always felt God's presence and blessing over our time. Hopefully next year I will be able to come back to this blog and remind myself what its really all about. And maybe if someone else reads this feeling overwhelmed, I hope it will help you, like writing it helped me.    :)

Lunar Eclipse meets Twilight Eclipse

This is absolutely not a profound post. But I absolutely LOVE the Twilight series of books and the movies.  I adore Stephenie Meyers books, loved "The Host" too, but you have to read about 70 pages and then you literally CAN'T put it down.

Anyway, I just got to watch Eclipse on DVD (the movie) on the night of the Lunar Eclipse. It was completely a coincidence but isn't that awesome!?! It will be fully eclipsed in 20 minutes but very cool! Won't happen again for 80 something years and by then I will not be here to see it.

Silly Post...but thats me :)

Life is a journey

   Its been a very long time since I posted anything. But I decided to take my own advice and just go for and write again. Deciding that it neither has to be perfect or profound, just original. Of course, I would love for it to be all three.
    So in this long period of time I have been conquering the many things in life that I had been hiding under a chair, to afraid to fail at them so I never even started......That is a terrible way to live. But I know I'm not the only one who struggles with their fears.
    One of the things I have decided to conquer my fear of and attempt to do, is learn more about music. I've always had a passion for it (it makes my heart sing) and have been writing songs since I was 13. But after graduating high school, I just put music and art away in a little box and didn't look back at it until October 09. Oddly enough at a Brad Paisley concert (I love him) God brought these hidden talents back out of the box. So despite having a 2 year old and not knowing a thing about music theory or choir, I joined the choir at church. Which then led to me writing a song for the 1st time in 4 years. The passion for the song God had given me, for my hurting friend, led to me to getting guitar lessons (to learn to write the music for the song).That led to voice lessons, and getting coaching on proper song writing. Now the song is complete and the friend, is no longer a friend.......very strange. It just shows me God has a plan, and if all of the things didn't happen just the way they happened, I wouldn't be were I am now.


     To sum it all up....... it doesn't matter where we think our destination will be, we have these preconceived notions but God molds and shapes us for His own good purpose through the journey it takes to reach the destination. And 9 times out of 10, what we thought was the destination was just another part of our real journey with God, Him leading the way, us with lamp in our hand, one step at a time. Because if He ever showed us what He really had planned for our life, we would be too afraid to move forward at all.